martes, febrero 13, 2007

Sueño con Tiburones

Silvio Rodríguez soñaba con serpientes y yo sueño con tiburones, mi maldita bendición de recordar lo que sueño me ha tenido todo el día en la punta de la silla, sintiendo escalofríos, dolor en el brazo derecho y en mi pierna izquierda.

Resulta que desde hace ya casi un mes me obsesioné con el Animal Planet, lo que implica que me he visto la vida completa de los elefantes asiáticos, monos de la india, pandas, suricatas, guepardos y cuanto animalito se me cruza.

No voy a ahondar en mi obsesión por los elefantes, que viene desde mis - no tan tiernos - 5 años fecha en que escribí la primera carta al pascuero pidiéndole un elefante. Sí, yo no pedía un pony, pedía un ELEFANTE.

Ni tampoco voy a reconocer públicamente que, después de todo lo que me he reído de los ñoños adictos al roll, me inscribí y obsesioné con Second Life un juego de realidad virtual en el que soy una veterinaria a cargo de una reserva ecológica para elefantes en Tailandia. (Si Nancy, riéte de mi)

Hasta ahora, mi adicción animal no me había creado ningún problema, eso quizás porque lo animalitos que hasta ahora habían ocupado mi mente eran harto inofensivos, excepto los monos que son más malos que la cresta, lo que cambió anoche cuando cometí el grave error de ver "Todo lo que debe saber sobre tiburones", en el Discovery Chanel.

*Sabía usted que el tiburón tiene la capacidad de oler el miedo de su víctima antes de atacarla.

*Sabía usted que los tiburones son asesinos desde el útero de sus madres, allí, a falta de placenta que los alimente, se alimentan de sus hermanos sobreviviendo la cría más fuerte.

*Sabía usted que cuando los tiburones atacan, nadan a 60 kilómetros por hora.

* Sabía usted que el tiburón cambia sus afilados dientes cada tres días.

* Sabía usted que la mordida del tiburón tigre puede destrozar la caparazón de una tortuga de galápagos.

* Sabía usted que el año 2006, en las costas de Brasil, el tiburón blanco devoró a 64 surfistas.

Mala elección para la una de la mañana. Mala, mala.

Anoche fue una noche fatal, soñé que era atacada por un tiburón blanco, uno de los sueños más vívidos que he tenido en años.

Tan tan tan tan (leáse música de tiburón), la enorme bestia me perseguía, inútiles eran mis aleteos, PAFF el Tiburcio me arrancaba el brazo derecho, tan tan tan tan, PAFF, me arrancaba la pierna izquierda.

Y yo decía en medio del sueño, esto es una pesadilla, esto es un sueño y PAFF otro mordisco. Debo haber nadado horas, porque desperté sudada y muy cansada. En un momento desesperado en mi terrorífico sueño, nadaba hasta una especie de balsa y allí trataba de pellizcarme para despertar, pero justo en ese momento llegaba el dentudo y destrozaba la balsa de un mordisco. Tal fue la impresión que al parecer salté de la balsa y de la cama, aplantando al pobre Musso que dormía a mi lado, acto seguido mi ultra tolerante gato me mordió y yo pude salir de mi horrible lucha onírica con el escuálido.

Brrr, a esa hora ya eran las 6 de la mañana y la pura idea de volver a encontrarme con el desgraciado ése en el sueño me hizo desistir de cualquier intento por volver a dormir. Un par de vueltas por el departamento y 2 tazas de té después, ya era hora de bañarme, no sin antes revisar que mi brazo derecho y mi pierna izquierda estuvieran en su lugar.

Número dos

223 comentarios:

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Unknown dijo...

jajaja nunca lo pense de ti negrita, la que siempre se burlaba de los ñoños:
"un juego de realidad virtual en el que soy una veterinaria a cargo de una reserva ecológica para elefantes en Tailandia"

waaajajajaja, y a todo esto, porque elefantes? si el capitulo de los simpsons en que bart tenia un elefante no es tan viejo (tambien soy ñoño lo reconozco, pero quien no?), besos negrita

Anónimo dijo...

Hace tiempo que no tengo un sueño así, no me refiero a soñar con tiburones, sino a la sensación de sentirlo tan real. Cuando chica tenía pesadillas recurrentes con Freddy Kruger... si si si vi todas las Pesadillas 1,2, 3 ... etc. etc. y despertaba asustada y siempre con la mano puesta en la pierna o en el brazo, lugar donde se suponía me había enterrado sus garras.......
Sea cual sea el sueño, dicen que estos significan algo, ahora desde que se fue Andieta mis sueños son el fiel reflejo de estos 3 meses sola....... you know what i mean
En fin, bastante trágico tu sueño, sentir que te sacan el brazo, ufff desde ahora mejor deja a tu minino fuera del dormitorio, él no tiene la culpa de tu locura nocturna ni de tus sueños "reales".....
Y no veas televisión hasta tan tarde, no ves que después andas dando jugo hasta en los sueños.... jajaja un abrazo....

F R O G N U M dijo...

JA JA JA JA, quién lo diría. La negra jugando Second Life ... y obsesionada por los elefantes.

Oye, weno esos programas del discovery "Todo lo que debes saber" ... menos mal que no viste Archivos del FBI o Nuevos detectives, capaz que huieras soñado con un violador o un asesino en serie ... je je je

Ya negra, nos vemos pa la proxima entrega de LOSTTTTTTTTT

RIGO dijo...

PODRIAS HABER SOÑADO CON EL ESPANTA TIBURONES, O NO? JAJAJAJAJAJA.

bufonazo dijo...

yo tengo un amigo que le decimos "tiburon blanco" cada cierto tiempo se come un hombre...jajajajajajaaj
JAJAJAJAAJAJAJAJA
negra estás cada día más ñoña, ¿qué te están haciendo?, tus amistades te estan cambiando...noooooooooo
me muero, el ultimo refugio ironico y burlon que me quedaba, se trasnforma en una ñoña...
Dios mío hasta en las mejores familia pasa...uf!
besos y susrte

Número 1, Número 2 y Número 3 (artista invitada) dijo...

Juan:

Usted siempre ha sabido que quien escribe es ñoña, Y A MUCHA HONRA.

Ahora cabe mencionar que ser ñoño no es lo mismo que ser nerd. El ñoño puede seguir siendo irónico y divertido auqnue vea mucha tele, juegue realidad virtual y compre camisitas lacoste.

Un besote Juan

pd. para la otra juntación ojalá no te tengas que ir tan temprano. Fue divertido ir de comorars y copas contigo. Pero falta el mítico helado.

Número 1, Número 2 y Número 3 (artista invitada) dijo...

Sorry juan, no quise decir que "te habias ido rápido", usted sabe que yo sería incapaz de comentar ese tipo de cosas.

La negra

RIGO dijo...

Gracias por tu posteo, negra.

Ella en la cama dijo...

hace mucho mis sueños se perdieron...

ciao, y siga soñando.

Anónimo dijo...

Hace tiempo que no las visitaba y veo que me perdí varios posteos, sobre todo el sabroso entuerto de si contestar o no el teléfono. Y yo creo Natu que...

Que heavy el sueño de la Negra Rica, podrías haberte concentrado más y sales volando. Es bacán cachar que estas soñanado y hacer hueas como flotar o creerse superheroe.

No me gustan esos programas tipo
Animal Planet pero concuerdo en que el tiburón es un animal interesante... más que mal la película tuvo como 3 secuelas.

Ahora me voy de vacaciones, así que les dejo muchos cariños. Besos a todas.

wALtEr

Anónimo dijo...

Felices vacas, Chico!!!!!!

Negra, que te vaya muy bien el viernes. Recuerda, perfect outfit, perfect dinner. Peor me quedé pensando y Holly Golightly no es tu estilo. Asúmete (yo creo que mejor digo, ASUMAMOS) como la fantástica curvilínea exótica que eres.

Muac, desde una Viña que no es Viña

Nati

bufonazo dijo...

jajajaajajajajajajjajajajajaaja
buerno lo de irse rapido a veces me pasa... siempre q tengo q ver otros compromisos...jajaajajajaa

pero yo se q usted es incapaz de hablar intimidades...jajajaajaja

ya loca nos debemos el mitico helado y otras cosas mas...
besotes ñoña querida!

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